


No sex, we're TORN

by lalois



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Day Off, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Foreplay, Introspection, M/M, One Shot, True Love, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:57:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9703259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalois/pseuds/lalois





	1. --Part I--

Ryo realized he had been dozing off only after he'd abruptly woken up; his head felt heavy and his neck ached, and the clanking of the train heading toward their destination gave off his whereabouts. Probably.

" _I'd say morning, but it's definitely not morning yet_ ," a certain drummer's voice said, beside him.

" _Mh..._ " Ryo snorted. " _How come you're not the one sleeping like a log_?" he yawned, stirring in his seat.

" _Because I'm the one who promised you'll be granted a real surprise. I'm in charge for checking on you this time_ " Ohkura tweeted, squeezing Ryo's hand. The very same hand he had been furtively holding all the time, under the blanket they were sharing on the train, during their night travel.

The guitarist cracked a soft smile and looked out of his window seat.  
They had been jumping on one of the last Shinkansen left right in time, some vague three hours before.  
Where had they had been heading to, he still didn't know.

After he had cooked for his boyfriend his most awaited St Valentine dinner and they had almost argued about what they had agreed to stick on together, about the two of them not having sex for a while to settle down first their fragile renewed relationship, it seemed like all of a sudden he didn't know how to love him as he had been so used to, at least physically speaking, without ruining the gorgeous yet still frail mood they had finally managed to reach after all those years of playing too fast and loose.

It had been right then, that Ohkura had started arranging something through a quick and mysterious phone call and had dragged him to Tokyo Station.  
And here they were, together.

He had preferred not to check the stations they had been passing by, but when the display show they were arriving at Shin Hanamaki station,Ryo realized he had not just imagined being so far away from Tokyo, and he frowned.

" _Where the heck do you plan to ambush me tonight, Ohkura?"  
"Ssssth_ ," Ohkura giggled, vaguely amused. " _I certainly planned something, but I'd prefer you to keep silent about the ambush thing for another little while, if you can._ "

They were picked up in front of the station by a shuttle bus carrying the mention "Yusen Shidate hotel", and Ryo couldn't help but wonder why it had to be in the Iwate Prefecture of all things, if they were meant to spend an overnight staying.

Once there, they took off the baseball caps, glasses and scarves they were wearing to disguise their identity and the staff had led them into the room that apparently Ohkura had booked for them both.

 _"Mmh... so it's onsen we're talking about_ " Ryo said, looking at the traditional Japanese furnished room.  
" _Uh yeah,_ " the drummer replied, with a smug smile, taking off his coat, " _but it's kind of special ones. Look, it should be here I think... yeah! Have a look, Ryochan_ ".

Ryo let out a small gasp when Ohkura opened a door which led to a rotenburo, a very wide private open-air bath.  
"I _know we're pretty used at staying in hotels for work, but we're always so packed with stuff to do that in the end, we never fully enjoy our staying. Meals excluded, maybe.  
I just wanted you to relax, Ryochan. Take a bath and maybe doze off again_ " Ohkura shrugged off.

 _"Got it_ ," Ryo said. " _Well, it's awesome indeed outta here_ ," he commented, taking a look at the beautiful scenery he could spot from the onsen veranda.

" _I admit calling dad for a tip. There was not that much time left after all. He told me a businessman he's friends with, running this hotel, was complaining about not having it full-booked this year during this period of the year. So when I asked, he suggested me coming, if I didn't have better to do._ "  
He paused, cocking his head to one side.

" _Well, Valentine Day is already over by the way, it's quite past midnight... Sorry for the long journey, Ryochan"._  
"So apparently, you really have nothing better to do on Valentine Day," Ryo mocked him, a slight frown marking his brows.  
" _Apparently_ " Ohkura winked at him. " _So, Ryochan, can I offer you a massage?"_  
"EH?!"  
" _A massage,_ " the drummer repeated, his dark eyes fixed upon Ryo's. " _See the futon, down there_?"  
He pointed to a small area in the corner of the veranda, where a futon had been laid down beside the pool where warm thermal water was slightly fuming.

" _Are you serious?"_  
"Of course!"  
"So straightforward, geez..." Ryo sighed. " _Okay, I guess it will be up to you in here, right_?"

Ohkura wasn't very good in suppressing a proud giggle, and while he wore the hotel yukata and started getting immediately familiar with the massage stuff, Ryo stripped off quickly and went to lay prone on the futon, unsure whether his boyfriend would have taken advantage of that proposition to do something else and probably more rated.

Not that he didn't want to, he thought as soon as Ohkura's large hands landed on the muscles of his legs, stretching the flesh slowly with creamy oil.  
Not that he'd have ever complained. It would have been too much of a shame to his sexy Osaka man ego, after all.

But there was something new indeed between the two of them, that had somehow started ever since they had gotten back together a month before. Something that sounded very much like comfort, and a declaration and confirmation of love at the same time.  
After all that they had gone through, to Ryo it was something new and definitely precious, and hoped Ohkura would feel the very same.

And perhaps that was why he was now unsure on how to progress on the next step without ruining such a special mood, despite him wanting Ohkura for sure. He had wanted him badly, so badly, during all the time they had chosen not to waste in bed. And he had always resisted, for the greater sake of their growing bond.

" _Mmh.._." he sighed. The drummer's hands were hot and skilled and slid back and forth his back and spine, his arms and legs, softening the tension within his sore muscles.  
Ohkura giggled again.  
" _I thought you had gotten fast asleep, you weren't saying a word..."  
"It's because you're good, Ohkura,_ " Ryo murmured in a muffled voice, nuzzling his nose against the futon.

" _Really?"_  
"Mh, yeah... I never tell lies, you should have realized it by now."  
"You know, Ryochan? You look like you're glowing gold right now... it's so beautiful to see. How are you feeling like?"

 _"Like I wanna kiss you_ ," Ryo replied before he could actually ponder his words.

" _That's a very nice answer_ ," the younger man replied in a thick voice. He stood up, going to Ryo's side and bending slowly while the latter turned on his back to look up. " _An answer I like very much... you know, Ryochan?_ " Ohkura murmured softly. Ryo stretched out his neck to meet his boyfriend's lips, who gave in to the kiss when Ryo deepened their contact and eventually fell atop him after the guitarist's hands pulled him closer, hugging him quite tightly.

However sudden and heated, their make-out didn't last long, and left Ohkura panting and whining.  
" _I think I got this yukata oil-stained._.." he groaned, resting his forehead against Ryo's naked, oily one.  
" _Honestly, I can't get to see the problem,_ " Ryo offered him with a lopsided smile. He kissed eagerly Ohkura's earlobe. " _Time to have a shower, Tatsu. Wanna join me?_ "

He was helped up on his feet by Ohkura, and Ryo's hands travelled beneath the hem of the drummer's yukata, tickling softly his belly and waist and broad shoulders, when he opened up the front of the vest and let it fall at Ohkura's feet. He looked even more handsome than he remembered; his body was slightly rounder, for he had apparently gained some weight ever since. To Ryo's eyes, he was not far from the perfection he knew he’d have never ever reached with his thin frame himself.

By touching the soft flesh, Ryo felt the desire creeping up and stirring inside of him, like a hot drink spreading slowly but unstoppable through his veins and blood.  
The drummer claimed a kiss in exchange for having his shorts pulled down quite hastily; Ryo grinned and obliged, cupping eagerly Ohkura's buttcheeks afterwards.

They took their time under the shower, looking at each other's eyes while rinsing each other's body.  
Ohkura had closed his lids and sighed repeatedly from contentment, his head thrown backwards as Ryo did the shampoo on his wavy hair, behind him. He returned happily the favour then, and splashed Ryo with barely lukewarm water from a wooden bucket when he was done, having him shiver and shriek from surprise.

" _Are you nuts?!"  
"Cold water is good for junctions and keeping your skin in shape_ " he told Ryo, turning him around to pinch his butt playfully.

He eventually resolved in hugging him tight from behind, and where there was fun and laughter, there's silenced, thick emotion then.  
Ohkura buried his nose into Ryo's wet hair, saying nothing while trailing equally wet kisses on the profile of his boyfriend's bony shoulder.

Ryo sighed and threw his head backwards, his nape brushing against Ohkura's solid chest; he felt the latter's excitement rock against his own butt and moaned, relinquishing his will to abandon himself into Ohkura's steady arms.

They could have easily finished each other off right there, but somehow, they could both perceive it was not yet the time. The highest peak of the anticipation had yet to be established, and the mere thought of his would contribute to make Ohkura's mind blank and mad at the same time.  
He had yet to register such a burning desire not winning over him just thanks to way huge genuine feelings pushing it down. For a greater sake. And it felt awesome and perfect and even hotter, if he really had to say.

Hands in hands, they carefully stepped onto the wooden and bamboo-covered pavement of the veranda and into the little hot pool outside the porch, whose spring water was softly lit up by tiny lights accentuating its nearly golden natural shade.

Thin greenish bamboo stalks intimately surrounded the pool all around and up to the clear sky over them, and judging by the utter silence surrounding the hot spring, they could barely recall being in a spa resort instead of a nowhere amidst the nature.

The winter night was still freezing, though, so Ryo helped Ohkura enter quickly the steaming water right after him.  
It was quite an overwhelming sensation after the running water from the shower and the heat of their kisses. Ryo ducked into the water for an instant, surfacing right after that, shaking off and splashing his face to rub the tiredness away, spluttering a bit from its mineral content.

" _Mmh, I'm not seeing_ ," Ohkura muttered with a mischievous smile, looking sweetly at him, hinting to the common rules observed in the onsen pools.  
" _Sure you aren't, you little wicked spy_ ," Ryo grinned, splashing his band mate too. Ohkura laughed but cornered him soon after, and once again Ryo gave in to the comfort of the drummer's tongue clashing with his own repeatedly and passionately.

*to be continued to the 2nd and last part*


	2. --Part II--

Ryo didn't pull away from the make-out soon, and when he did he felt hot and dizzy all over his body and soul and plunged into the water again, back and forth, reaching out for the nearest rock on the edge of the pool.

Ohkura did affect the contents of his heart and his mind in a way he had not managed to grasp nor control yet.

Ohkura, whose chin was still submerged into the water and whose dark beautiful eyes were looking tenderly and straight at him, pursing the infamous pouty lips. He stood silent for a while, apparently enjoying the bath in the deepest corner of the pond, his eyes closed but for a quick check of Ryo's location every now and then.

"Thanks for bringing me here," Ryo murmured all of a sudden. "I owe you."

Ohkura slowly reached him beside his spot in the water, then gently put his palm on Ryo's forehead.  
"Hey, are you really sure you're okay?"

Ryo made a face and took his hand, putting it back into the water with his own.  
"Moron... I'm serious."

"So am I" Ohkura retorted. "I don't want you fainting from overheat exposure for sure. I have other plans for us, tonight," he nodded proudly.

Ryo giggles.  
"Really? Do you still?"  
"Sure. Can't you imagine?"

Ryo cocked his head to one side, rubbing his eyes again.  
"I've made myself quite an idea, yeah..."

Ohkura looked intently at him.  
"Don't you want us to go back enjoying sex also, Ryochan?"

Ryo held his breath.  
Here they were, with the question they'd carefully avoided for the last thirty days.  
"Hell if I don't want to," he blurted out then.

"Then why..."  
"Why what?"

Ohkura shook his head.  
"I don't know... You've been unusually quiet all this time. A doting boyfriend, even, and I'm far from complaining, of course. But I feel like..." he paused, unsure how to best say what he had in his mind without being too blunt. He sighed.  
"I feel like you're keeping something from me, and it hurts, Ryochan. It hurts."

Ryo didn't let go of his hand, nor looked away.  
The dim lights of the pool and the porch slowly decreased in intensity right away, leaving them in a cozy semi-darkness, and they both realized the resort was plunging into the middle of the night.

"I never meant to hurt you more than I already did," Ryo started out. "That was the last thing I'd ever wanted, after what we had to go through recently, you know..."

He paused, too, thinking quickly at how things could have been that different if only he had never gathered the guts to confess to Ohkura and go for it despite the latter having a girlfriend. In the end, it seemed like he had won the drummer's heart and doubts indeed, but they had had to start anew. Literally and physically speaking.  
And that was something good, but rollercoaster-like also.

"If felt rather weird for me never giving in to the sexual impulse, Tatsu. Honestly. I wasn't even sure we would have made it in the end... more talking for myself maybe, but still... I promised you, and here we are, now."

He looked up to meet his favourite almond-shaped eyes ever, gazing at him only and especially, as if to make sure they were both in, once again.

"The weird thing is, it did also feel right at the same time, so right that I'm amazed at how good things turned out for us during the last month. Amazing, really.  
The truth is that us dating, Ohkura, has brought to the surface a Ryo whose existence I wasn't even aware of myself. And this is a Ryo I finally like, could you even tell?!  
And now... I don't know, I started feeling almost as if we could ruin everything through physical pleasure."  
"Eh?" the drummer asked.

Ryo laughed nervously.  
"Yeah, it's so stupid of me, right? I've always been so into sex... it's so stupid of me, so damn stupid and silly..."

Ohkura leaned in to peck him on the mouth. The drummer's lips felt like thermal and salty water, but Ryo licked his own lips nonetheless.

"We started out being horny all the time, not knowing what to do with the feelings. Throwing them away, even," Ryo commented.  
"But we grew," Ohkura whispered. “We suffered. We drifted away, suffered again. And we learned. Isn't this the real proof we're now doing what's actually right for us?" the drummer went on with his low, deep voice.  
"Then what if I don't know where to start anymore?" Ryo asked in a cracked voice. "You can laugh at me if you want... yeah…”

Ohkura chuckled softly.  
"What about starting with looking at me in the eyes instead?" Ohkura asked. "Even though it seemed to me you did know quite well before, even before the shower we shared..."

When Ryo pulled back a little from him and looked up, he noticed that those beautiful dark orbs were gleaming and smiling to him only.  
"Hey... All of you, Ryochan," the drummer told him. "It's good to know all of you. So please, don't restrain yourself from showing yourself with me anymore, from now on. Because I want to love you. I really do," he murmured, his gaze steady into Ryo's. “Can I?”

The older man nodded slowly, so Ohkura cupped both of Ryo’s cheeks and licked those alluring lips, gently and repeatedly. He suddenly felt Ryo's hands on his waist, in the water, and their kiss deepened slowly but firmly, together with the pulsation irradiating from the lower part of their abdomens.

His hands roamed in order to cup Ryo's butt fiercely, who growled hard in his mouth in response when his fingers found, tickled and caressed the cut between the buttcheeks he loved.  
Ryo pushed him on the edge of the pool, against the bamboo-covered entry path among the rocks, kissing him hungrily, almost feverishly.

"I want you... I've wanted you so badly it aches…" Ohkura groaned in a low voice, doing nothing to hide his appreciation for Ryo nipping at his throat and collarbone.

Ohkura leaned back and threw out his arms to steady himself on his elbows out of the water, offering his lover an exquisite opportunity for aiming at his nipples at the same time.  
Ryo shifted just slightly to have his mouth right at their level and sucked gently from each, having Ohkura moan aloud, his head tilted back and his Adam's apple showing off.

"Don't do this to me if you don't wanna make love to me right now, Ryochan… please don’t," he begged, his eyes closed.  
"I never said I don't want to,” Ryo assured him in a hoarse, pleading voice, “I just… I panicked, I’m sorry…”  
“I don’t think I can forgive you,” Ohkura panted between a few low cries, “if you don’t go back torturing my tits straight away… please,” he added, brushing his chest and stomach against Ryo’s body.

And Ryo obliged, ravishing the wet rosy skin with his mouth while stroking Ohkura’s hardness below the water’s edge, much to the latter’s groans of pleasure, until Ryo suddenly grabbed his ass and made his lover sit up on the edge of the pool, outside the steaming water.

He spread his legs to welcome Ryo’s ministrations, he arched his back to allow him kiss whenever part of his hickey-ed chest he preferred, and ended up shouting and laying back down completely, at a loss, when Ryo made him peak and savour the power of the ecstasy again, after such a long time.

Ohkura shivered openly, feeling hot and cold at the same time. He felt Ryo over him then, crouching to place a tender kiss on his forehead and then nuzzle his nose against his cheek.

“I’m sorry… “ Ryo repeated again, right before he actually picked him up in his arms, taking him carefully inside in the veranda.  
“So shameful of me, I’d say instead…” the drummer faltered, though holding tight to Ryo in the meantime.  
“What for?”

“Being carried around like a girl, when I'm just a fatass...” he groaned.  
"There's honestly nothing shameful about you, Tatsu," Ryo objected. "You're my guy, and I'm carrying you inside, and that's all." He laid him down onto the mat beside the inner hot spring pool that made up most of the beautiful and wide veranda room.

Ohkura clung tightly to him, one arm around Ryo's neck and the other on his mate's growing bulge, kissing his neck frantically.  
"Ryochan, we need you to cry too," he explained with a weak smile, turning the soft caresses of his fingers into way more audacious ones.  
Ryo grunted softly over him, his breath turning into visible puffs of heat in the sticky air of the hot spring pool.

"Make love to me... Please, Ryochan..."

"You can recover, right?" Ryo asked him. His left hand went up into Ohkura's messy bangs, massaging the scalp and the short hair of his shaved temple that stung under Ryo's fingertips.  
The drummer purred, closing his lids for a moment of bliss, then pulled Ryo abruptly down to him for a hungry kiss, rocking his hips up against Ryo's in a clear consent.

"Good," Ryo approved. "I need you hard, for I'll be going to ride you," he muttered on his lover's throat, who choked on his own panting but kept Ryo down with him. He let go of his hardness only to hold him close and thoroughly, and clenched his hips around his mates' to have their members crush painfully against each other's.  
Ryo howled, and it didn't take long for the two of them to become aroused to the point of craving for even further, delicious friction blurring their mind away.

Ohkura gaped in awe when Ryo lowered himself on its length and started moving carefully around through slow, rhythmical and mesmerizing thrusts.

Ryo arched his back almost absentmindedly, rolling his head with his eyes closed in deep concentration, to savour the feeling of upcoming completeness, of joining hot flesh that had meant so much for him even when he didn't know how much he actually loved the guy.

"Missed you..." he croaked in a hoarse voice, his palms tightening on his lover's belly and hips. The drummer replied through one mouth agape and the sensual chanting of his deepest voice.  
"You're so tight, Ryochan..." he cried softly under him, his whole body stirring from growing pleasure. “So beautiful…”

Ryo smirked and straddled him proudly, the sensation of Ohkura's fingers tickling and gripping on his forearms giving him the goose bumps, making him shiver despite the hot temperature and the humidity of the room itself, despite sweat drops landing large and thick on Ohkura's already wet body.

Ryo's pace fastened on the voluptuous hips, but the drummer had long lost any reason for keeping a mask of dignity and gave in to several high-pitched moans; the cutest of it resembled the small cry Ryo suddenly remembered having heard from him the very first time he had spotted boy Ohkura whining alone in a corner, because he wanted so badly the chance of standing on the front of the stage like his other band mates did. Ryo smiled at the thought, for that very same time he had promised to such a young Ohkura that one day he'd have made it, and he'd have been by his side for sure.

Ryo opened his lids.  
He could swear that the mere vision of his lover surrendering to his soaring movements, with his arms both sprawled on the mat over him and the tempting curly wet bangs scattered around his head like a glorious aura, would have been enough to make him come straight away. But the truth was, Ohkura was also keeping his almost orgasm-blurred gaze on him, on his thin naked frame and protruding nipples and pumped up cock, and the tender smile Ryo received then felt so much overwhelming from love that when the drummer suddenly closed his lids to cry out his utter delight, Ryo surrendered to his utmost pleasure, too.

He collapsed on Ohkura's chest muttering something and panting hard, and the younger man's hand went on his nape, in a tender and very much obliged caress.  
The lullaby of Ohkura's fingers on Ryo's tousled hair, had the latter closing his eyes as a counter effect.

Never had he felt so incredibly right and complete while having sex with someone. Making love, to tell the truth, with anyone but the guy he was laying on.

And he felt glad that among all things, they could overcome even his most feared terror, about the idea of tainting their love with sex.  
No, he realized then, that was not. That would not be true for them.

Quite different it was, with sex being the ultimate sublimation of love instead.

"Hey... how was it?" Ohkura tweeted then, as if reading through his mind, still caressing his bangs. "How are you feeling, Ryochan?"  
"In love," was how Ryo simply answered, with a contented sigh.

The drummer did not reply, but Ryo felt him hold his breath heavily under him, so he looked up. Ohkura was looking away, pursing his lips.  
"Hey," Ryo blurted out. He shifted, to get by his side. His fingers gently pulled a few curly locks away from Ohkura's face, and he realized he was crying.

"... sappy... you're sappy, you moron..." the drummer sobbed in what should have been a reproachful tone, but Ryo saw new tears forming in the corner of those almond shaped eyes he adored, and he wiped one away with his thumb and leaned to kiss his mouth.

"Guess who's in fault for this," he sneered, helping his boyfriend to sit up and hold him tight.  
The drummer hugged him back, still visibly moved and sobbing.

"But I'd say we're in the need for some other shower right now, what do you reckon, Tacchon?"  
Ohkura repressed a giggle between the tears, and Ryo beamed in pure bliss.

**

When he'd woken up, a few hours after that, his boyfriend was still snoring peacefully in his arms. The dawn seemed to be creeping up between the paper doors, and he suddenly realized he needed to do something, and very quickly also.

The idea of leaving the warm nest in bed seemed awful, but thinking that their comfortable dozing off might have been soon interrupted by the serving of the breakfast was the least alluring idea ever.

When he was back, Ryo slid under the futon as carefully as he could, but he couldn't prevent Ohkura to open his lids when he passed his arms around his lover's waist again.

"... Ryoch’n?" his voice was groggy with sleep.  
"Ssshht, go back to sleep. I'm here," Ryo reassured him, kissing his nape.

"... went pee? O’ mayb’ tryin’ to flee?"  
"Moron," Ryo chuckled. "I went to make sure nobody's going to burst in too soon in here. The do not disturb sign the room was provided with, was quite of help, I have to say."  
"I see..." Ohkura murmured, almost asleep again.

Ryo held him closer and whispered something else into his ear.  
"We still haven't tested the benefits of all the different hot spring pools of this room, haven't we?"  
Ohkura didn't reply immediately.

"... Ryoch’n?"  
"Mmh?"  
"I love you, you know?"

Ryo smiled.  
Luckily, he knew.

*owari*


End file.
